Rise La Boheme!

After being preoccupied with wedding stuff, I finally broke the spell by buying a non-wedding-related magazine… Preview!

I was so glad to buy it. I felt that for the past months, I did nothing but to fuss and think of our wedding and preparations. And boy, did I miss out on a lot! I didn't know what was in on food, music, clothes, shoes, skincare, and makeup. But it's ok. I think after months that the Bohemian in me hibernated, this part of me is slowly beginning to wake up from its slumber.

Anyway, I remembered the time when I wrote articles for Femalenetwork, Summit Media's online presence. I wish I could write again... It's really a therapy. Good thing there's blogging. At least there is an outlet whenever my creative juices have results. Just in case!

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AARGGH! (Part II)

Enrique called again after 30 minutes, and he just kept on telling me that he loves me so much, and that we should just forget about the "incident" awhile ago, and that I shouldn't be mad at him anymore...

Now I feel bad because I wasn't able to tell him that I love him so much. It would take 1-2 more days before we could talk again. And it's killing me! I want to talk to him again, hear his voice, and tell him that I love him so much. I feel so bad. I need to tell him that I love him soooo much. But how can I? He's already sailing, and I doubt that he'll call again today...

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AARGGH!

I'm pretty pissed at Enrique right now. Too pissed that I put down the phone on him and rejected his next call. I know some would find this childish, but I don't care. He has hurt me, whether he intended to or not (most likely he didn't mean to).

I'll just try to forget about this little incident. I just need to take this out of my system. ARRRGH!

I still don't feel like talking to him right now. Hopefully this will pass.

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I'm Back!

Nope, I'm not back because I am *single* again, but because I just want to take a break from all this Enrique-Vanessa and wedding preps thingies.

*Sigh* I don't know. While watching Lifestyle Network, it occurred to me that lately, I haven't been *taking care* of and pampering myself as often as I needed (note: not wanted). All I have been thinking about is the whole wedding shebang: gowns, music suppliers, photo/video, and most of all... budgeting. I think another white hair grew because of all these thinking and numbers manipulation and computation!

Gersh... I miss the days when I go have a massage, buy some kikay stuff, hoard shoes that fit me, shop at Zara in KL, etc... without feeling guilty. Whereas now, whenever I see something that fancies me, I have to remind myself "Hey, you gotta save for the wedding, help Enrique!" Imagine, I just bought these Moroccan earrings and bracelet, and I felt GUILTY. Too guilty, that I was compelled to tell Enrique earlier this afternoon about this most recent splurge of mine.

What the?!?

I'm probably fretting because much as I miss Enrique so much and that I am excited about the future ahead of us, I also miss my *single* days. I also think that ever since there became an Enrique-Vanessa, my appetite for the single life went drastically downhill. I can no longer tolerate alcohol (ppphhh I miss drinking booze!!!). I no longer feel excited about gimmicks that end the morning after. This is soooo not me.

Or am I really changing? Changing in order to accommodate the new life that I will enter a couple of months from now?

Nope, I am not complaining. It's just that... oh, I don't know.

Maybe I should keep this blog, and write about other things other than documenting our wedding preparations.


Welcome back, Vanessa!

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A New Episode Begins...

kIt's been quite a while since I last posted in this blog of mine. So many things have happened, and they happened so fast I didnt have time to document them.

But sad to say, I must retire this blog and make way for a new one. I am no longer the spinster wishing for the love of my life, for I have truly found him.

Now the blog being maintained is not just for myself, but for the both of us. http://evpday.blogspot.com

As a new life begins, I just pray that things will be alright.



EVP forever!

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The Promise Of Love

I've been listening to this song of Martin Nievera for years, yet it is just now that I have come to appreciate the lyrics of the song....

The Promise of Love

I kneel beside you here today

I kneel beside you and I pray

That it's you, its only you

Who will share my tomorrows and yesterdays

I searched a lifetime and found you

A bridge to forever I share with you

Open your heart and let me in

As I give you this promise of love

I heard an angel say your name

Now I know my world's not the same

A little heaven is what you are

As we dream a thousand dreams not so far

And may the blessings of our Lord above

His light will guide us with a love

For you and me forevermore

As I give you this promise of love

Now that I have you for my own

As God is our witness never let me go

Feel the love grow as we become one

One hand, one heart

We are one soul

I stand before you just a man

I need your help to understand

What is life without you

As I promise you this day and forever

This promise of love

This promise of love

This promise of love....

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Dazed and Confused

I miss Enrique.

I don't know why my feelings are so strong for this guy, I don't know why I am missing him this much. And I am not sure if I have the right reasons to do so.

It is a fact that we didn't really get to know each other before he left (and this is a huge understatement) and that we only got to "know" each other through millions of text and hours of phonecalls (yes, those phone bills that left a hundred grand hole in his pocket). Yet for me, it doesn't seem to matter anymore.

However, I am just questioning my feelings, because up until now, I am still a bit confused.

I just got out of a traumatic relationship early this year, and its ending left me hanging. My one year of longing to be with the one I love(d) yielded nothing. Then came Enrique, a few months after. I tried to resist the urge to entertain another potential, to no avail. How could I have resisted the sweet, thoughtful, and bolero Enrique?

I just couldn't help but wonder: am I really in love, or is this feeling an outcome of my frustration from my past relationship?

I would like to believe that I really am in love. The second one is a bit too unfair for Enrique, and I know he doesn't deserve such.

Maybe I'm just complicating things.

Maybe it's just this: I just miss Enrique.

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Of Novels and Pictures

I just received a 14-page letter (more like a novel, really!) from my beloved Enrique, along with 3 of his pictures onboard. And I missed him all the more.

I just think that January is around the corner. I can't wait to see him. In the meantime, I will just read again his message and stare at his pictures.... Sigh....


Enrique my dear...

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