Rise La Boheme!

After being preoccupied with wedding stuff, I finally broke the spell by buying a non-wedding-related magazine… Preview!

I was so glad to buy it. I felt that for the past months, I did nothing but to fuss and think of our wedding and preparations. And boy, did I miss out on a lot! I didn't know what was in on food, music, clothes, shoes, skincare, and makeup. But it's ok. I think after months that the Bohemian in me hibernated, this part of me is slowly beginning to wake up from its slumber.

Anyway, I remembered the time when I wrote articles for Femalenetwork, Summit Media's online presence. I wish I could write again... It's really a therapy. Good thing there's blogging. At least there is an outlet whenever my creative juices have results. Just in case!

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AARGGH! (Part II)

Enrique called again after 30 minutes, and he just kept on telling me that he loves me so much, and that we should just forget about the "incident" awhile ago, and that I shouldn't be mad at him anymore...

Now I feel bad because I wasn't able to tell him that I love him so much. It would take 1-2 more days before we could talk again. And it's killing me! I want to talk to him again, hear his voice, and tell him that I love him so much. I feel so bad. I need to tell him that I love him soooo much. But how can I? He's already sailing, and I doubt that he'll call again today...

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AARGGH!

I'm pretty pissed at Enrique right now. Too pissed that I put down the phone on him and rejected his next call. I know some would find this childish, but I don't care. He has hurt me, whether he intended to or not (most likely he didn't mean to).

I'll just try to forget about this little incident. I just need to take this out of my system. ARRRGH!

I still don't feel like talking to him right now. Hopefully this will pass.

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I'm Back!

Nope, I'm not back because I am *single* again, but because I just want to take a break from all this Enrique-Vanessa and wedding preps thingies.

*Sigh* I don't know. While watching Lifestyle Network, it occurred to me that lately, I haven't been *taking care* of and pampering myself as often as I needed (note: not wanted). All I have been thinking about is the whole wedding shebang: gowns, music suppliers, photo/video, and most of all... budgeting. I think another white hair grew because of all these thinking and numbers manipulation and computation!

Gersh... I miss the days when I go have a massage, buy some kikay stuff, hoard shoes that fit me, shop at Zara in KL, etc... without feeling guilty. Whereas now, whenever I see something that fancies me, I have to remind myself "Hey, you gotta save for the wedding, help Enrique!" Imagine, I just bought these Moroccan earrings and bracelet, and I felt GUILTY. Too guilty, that I was compelled to tell Enrique earlier this afternoon about this most recent splurge of mine.

What the?!?

I'm probably fretting because much as I miss Enrique so much and that I am excited about the future ahead of us, I also miss my *single* days. I also think that ever since there became an Enrique-Vanessa, my appetite for the single life went drastically downhill. I can no longer tolerate alcohol (ppphhh I miss drinking booze!!!). I no longer feel excited about gimmicks that end the morning after. This is soooo not me.

Or am I really changing? Changing in order to accommodate the new life that I will enter a couple of months from now?

Nope, I am not complaining. It's just that... oh, I don't know.

Maybe I should keep this blog, and write about other things other than documenting our wedding preparations.


Welcome back, Vanessa!

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