Two Days Left...

I wanted to sleep longer today because today is the start of my leave from work, but probably habits don't die that easily so here I am wide awake. My plans today is just for me to relax and forget about the wedding preps, like what my coord told me last night.

Perhaps she has sensed that both Enrique and I are stressed already from all the preparations, and she was 100% correct. Much as I wanted to not think about the load of things to do and ignore the stress signals (hey, I always tell myself that stress is all in the mind), I couldn't help but admit that eversince Enrique came last October and went full speed ahead with our wedding preparations, I was getting really stressed out, even to the point that the idea of our wedding coming into fruition didn't excite me at all. What made things worse was that my work has been eating up probably half of my brain.

Maybe I can call this period a really big accomplishment for me, juggling work and at the same time having full control over the wedding as well as house preparations. This period might even be considered a sneak preview of how my new life would be (less stress I hope and pray).

Am I ready for it?

Maybe yes, maybe no. I really don't know. But you see, at the end of the day, I keep on evaluating whether or not I am making the right decision of entering this so-called "magulong mundo ng pag-aasawa" and only one thing is really clear: I love Enrique and I want to be with him and I want to start a family with him. That no matter how much stress and arguments (huge, honestly) we have experienced, deep in my heart I have faith and hope that we will get through all these together. Most of all, I believe in the love that is between us.

So, am I excited with our wedding day?

Not really...

If I compare it with my excitement and anticipation over our new life together.

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Ramblings After the Audit

For days I have been worrying about our internal audit (which by the way, happened a few hours ago) because it's the first time that I will be part of it, and that it will be longer compared to other participants (since I am a heavily involved with the operations). But anyway, the audit turned out to be really ok, and I learned quite a few that I have missed out. I felt flattered too when the auditor asked me jokingly if I can work in his department in Oslo (why not!) and that he was really happy with the outcome of the interview.

Whew. At least now I can breathe a little easier now.

Anyway, on to lighter things and past happenings.

*********
Last weekend was really a buzz for Enrique and I. We have been scrambling here and there trying to finalize some wedding preparations such as gown fittings of our entourage, plus a few more house beautification (hello appliances!). While we were strolling down the mall, a big banner caught my eye, and it caught my eye good...


That's my mom! She used to work for Filinvest and became one of the models for their projects, the Nusa Dua Farms in Cavite. It was around 2-3 years back, but this was the first time I have seen the banner. Enrique couldn't believe it, and even took a picture of it. The people manning the booth eyed us quizzically, so I told them, "She's my mom!" They were like, "wow, you look alike!" The man's not my father though. Tehehehe...

*********

Poor Enrique, he was told that the small mass that grew in his inner lip had to be taken out surgically. So Monday morning, we went to Medical City to have that dang thing removed. Enrique was really nervous, but I just tried to calm him down and told him it will just take around 15 minutes, as per the doctor's advise.



He really felt weird wearing the "dress" and so to just ease his tension we just clowned around and joked about the whole thing. he really looked funny! Anyway, the operation was a success, but we were a bit put off because though the operation only took minutes, the billing and all took about an hour!

After settling the bill, we went to Glorietta to have lunch together, and I really felt sorry for Enrique when the anesthesia was wearing off and he began feeling the pain. I told him to just keep on taking cold food and drinks. it looked cheesy, but I was feeding him. really, poor him! He was so conscious that any slight movement he makes might open up the stitches. We also went to Zara to but his shoes for the wedding, but unfortunately the style that we wanted wasn't available. I guess we have to go back to Powerplant then.

*********
Today I received an email containing the link to the pictures during my friend Issh's bridal shower. The theme of the shower was sensual spa (actually, more on "GRO" theme hehehe), and we had various activities: belly dancing, strip tease, dinner, gift giving, and clowning around! Towards the end of the night we turned a bit raunchy as we donned our outfits, complete with feathers and boas!

It was really a fun night and I wish that we will have more themed sleepovers even after we get married....

*********

Anyway, that's all for today. Overall, I am pretty pleased with the day, though it sure started out with me getting so jittery about the whole audit shebang.

Oh yeah, Enrique told me earlier on that our sofa was already delivered. I can't wait to see, sit, and lie on it!!!

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Prenups in Tagaytay

We had our prenups in Tagaytay last Nov 11, and I'm so happy with the outcome of the photoshoot. I was really anxious because a week had passed and Archie, our photographer, hasn't sent the cd. So when it arrived around lunch time today, I was really excited!

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Congratulations, Filipinos!

Congratulations to all Filipinos for the fantastic wins this month.... First was Ronnie Alcano conquering the World Pool Championship. And now, our beloved Pacman, Manny Pacquiao. They have certainly made Filipinos proud. I hope both victories will serve as uniting factors for our nation.



And congratulations to Erik "El Terible" Morales; acknowledging Pacman will certainly go well in history.



Mabuhay ang Filipino!

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Our New Home

Yesterday was truly a memorable one because our very first home was turned over to us. We were tired because it was a long day for us, but as the day came to a close, there was still so much energy in us.

After sending out the invitations to our sponsors and relatives, we went straight to Rustan’s to buy some items...

Curtains
Our furniture will be delivered this Friday, and Enrique thought that we should go buy some curtains so that the windows will be covered (building of Tower 2 is in progress). We headed straight to Rustan’s, were we chose the very first curtains that we will use. Apparently, the consigner will be on sale from Thursday until Friday, and so we decided to just reserve the curtains (the saleslady suggested it!) and buy them the next day. Hehehe.

We also checked out some other furniture and items that we can buy or include in our Registry, but ended up looking at Christmas décor…. This is such an exciting time for us… First home, first Christmas as a couple! Enrique had to practically drag me out so that we can go to the grocery and buy...

Rice, Salt and Sugar
According to Enrique’s mother, there is a superstition that says that the very first things that should be brought to a new home are rice, salt and sugar. And so we went to the grocery and bought these 3 items, plus more! I could really tell Enrique was really excited, as he kept on buying things that were not really needed immediately: tabo (he still wants to have one), soy sauce, pepper, cooking oil, bathroom tissues, junk food, etc. It’s ok though, I didn’t complain!


We then went to his house and ate dinner first before going to the unit. We also decided to bring the appliances we got for free whenever we went to Duty Free: BBQ grill, teppanyaki grill, pressure cooker, dinner set, etc. We kept in mind however that the rice, salt, and sugar should be the first to be brought inside. And so we did.

It was such a wonderful feeling entering the unit together. We were so happy and so excited. Exhausted because of the long day, but still. Enrique commented that we should’ve brought champagne to celebrate the day. We should’ve thought of that earlier! But anyway, I suggested that we go down to the small shop and buy one. Too bad there wasn’t any, so we just settled for 2 bottles of Vodka Ice. Hehehe.


Create Your Own

I’m really so happy that in less than a month’s time, we will be living together in this lovely little place we call our love nest (hehehe, cheesy I know). I thank the Lord God for making all these possible and for all His blessings to us. Now, I can’t wait to start a new life with my greatest love...

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The Love Nest

Hahaha! What a title!

Anyway, I still can't get over the fact (and excitement) that we now have a place to stay as we start a new life together. I can tell Enrique feels the same way because he has been going in and out of the unit, checking out every detail of the place.

Our major development aside from this is that we have already bought our very first batch of "conjugal" property... our furniture! We already purchased our bed, our small dining set, our sectional sofa (the one that I originally wanted... yipee!), and our closet. Next in line is our set of appliances. If we don't chicken out, then we will push through with the TV that we've been salivating over (cross fingers!). Please please please!

That's all for now... but we really can't wait till the delivery of our furniture! I can't wait to finally put them in their place and design the whole unit. Christmas is coming up, and designing will be even more fun!

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Bridal Shower: Spa Theme

My bridal shower held last Saturday was truly a blast, and I was really happy and thankful to my friend Sarah for setting up a spa-themed shower for me. Six of my friends came over and I was really glad they were really up for it. They each brought their own sleepover attire and their own spa kits.

Of course Sarah was very complete in preparing for the shower, so she prepared these goodie treats for each of us. Mine of course was extra special... I had a towel cake!




Food was fantastic as well! Lasagna, garlic bread, fajitas, and fish "fingers" were served, and of course wine. Tehehehe.

Then of course there was the spa service of which we availed: foot spa and body massage. We first started with a foot spa, and ended the night with an hour-long body massage. Very relaxing. :D


The ticklish me!

We chit-chatted about various things, but what I really appreciated the most was the time when they asked me about Enrique and I: his most romantic gestures, comedic instances, why Enrique, etc... Though I found it hard to answer the questions (hahaha after an argument with Enrique that morning) it made me think of the wonderful moments we had in the past, and of course, made me more in love with Enrique.


Me and some of my friends
Then there was the game.... There was a bag full of undies, and I had to guess who gave what to me. Every time I guessed wrong, I would have to wear them. My friends of course were merciful and they made me first wear some pants.

The whole night was really fun, and I was really happy that my friends took time out to spend one night with me.


The morning after... breakfast in Jollibee... Thanks Sarj!

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In Love and War

It's been almost two weeks since Enrique came back from work, and so far our time together has been fantastic. Of course these first two weeks wasn't as perfect as how we imagined and expected them to be, as pressing challenges came our way. Hey, it's not easy adjusting again to the other's presence, plus add the issues on wedding reparations and house hunting. It's funny that when I saw him the first time again, it felt like he was just gone for a day or two. Time flew by so quickly I didn't notice he was gone for 7 months. Well, I did notice hehehe, but only during the time when I had my own demons to battle.

Our first two weeks together was peppered with arguments, but all in all, I'm still so very glad he's right beside me. And it's such a strange feeling that though only one more month remains before I become his wife, it's as if I have been all this time, from the first time we met.

Aww geesh I'm becoming cheesy again. Forgive me, but at least I am reminding myself again that even though we had a couple of rough spots lately, I am marrying the man I love, the one who I want and need to be with, and no argument would make me change my mind, heart and soul.

Ok.... On to less cheesy things....

We have been scouting for a nice simple place to stay, and we are so happy that we found a temporary home in Dansalan Gardens. It's a 1 bedroom unit, and though it is in a bare state, the lay out of the unit is just lovely and very livable. The owner is also very easy to talk to. Pricey I know, but at least we are assured that it is a safe place to live in.

Funny thing was early this year we were about to purchase a 2-bedroom unit in the new tower currently being constructed, but then we decided to just have a house built next year. Anyway, we picked a unit on the 9th floor. It was really a pleasant surprise when I learned that the unit we will be renting is on the 9th floor (of the old tower) as well. It's a sign!

We have also looked at other places, but we only considered 2 places, one in Dansalan, the other one was in Wack Wack. The unit in Wack Wack is a 1-bedroom unit, and considerably bigger than the one in Dansalan. However, the major drawback was it didn't have provision for a utility area and a space to put our oven. These two were addressed by the unit in Dansalan. And so Dansalan won our hearts. Well, it did way before. :D

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Killing Me Softly

Only one more sleepless night and Enrique is here, and the anticipation is killing me! Finally, after months of being apart, we'll be together again. *Sigh*

One of my friends asked me if I am got tired of waiting for our big day, since I started doing our wedding preparations 1 1/2 years before our date. I told her that I wasn't really bored waiting for our wedding day, because I was more anxious about Enrique coming home. That is a more tedious waiting game for me!

But anyway, our big day is drawing nearer everyday, and I am glad that finally, my other half will be here to help in the preparations. Actually, he will do most of the dirty work starting next week!

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Encore: Sick and Hungry

I knew it.

I shouldn't have gone to work earlier during the week; now I'm suffering from flu relapse. And it's even worse than last week! My whole body is aching, my head is like being split into several pieces, and I'm having chills even though my folks here say it's hot. *Sigh*

So here I am stuck again in my bed. I'm probably beginning to grow roots here. And as usual, I'm watching TV - Lifestyle Network. Food, food, food. I feel hunger whenever I watch the shows, and after "Everyday Italian" I know I have to eat. Well at least I know I'm well compared to my past bouts of flu.

Part of me is really bored out of my wits, but part of me also tells me that I need to rest. Maybe I'm just exerting too much at work that I fail to see the signs of *gasp* stress.

Anyway, I'll just rest and all today. I don't know if I can go to work tomorrow. Part of me wants to, but part of me says no. *Sigh*

Bless me, I hope.

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Sick and Hungry

I've been down with a mean flu for the 3rd day today, and I'm beginning to be depressed already. Sometimes I want spending my spare time for myself, just lounging around my bed, watching TV, reading books and magazines, and just plain resting. But this weekend, I have so many plans, and all of them are shelved because of my current state.

Aside from this, all the shows in Lifestyle Network make me all the more hungry! I've been watching LN since yesterday, and have been salivating over the sumptuous meals prepared by Bobby Flay (aaaah I must have his book "Boy Meets Grill"), Wolfgang Puck, Rachel Ray, etc... It makes me miss Enrique even more: I kept on daydreaming about our new life together, our foodfests, cookfests, etc.

Anyway, I hope that I will get well soon. I don't know, the effect of sickness is really bad. I get all the more depressed, and my thoughts range from ultra-sad to outright morbid. I kept on telling myself, "Van, you gotta be strong. If you're not, one illness that will come during the golden years, and you're outta here." Morbid right? Haha.

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Sleepless in Kapitolyo

The whole night I couldn't sleep, and as I tried to do so, I was wondering why I was experiencing this. I thought of what had happened during the day that might have contributed to this, including what I have eaten and how much water intake did I have. The food I ate was just normal. Sure, I had dinner with two of my friends, but we just ate pasta and the spinach-cheese dip. I drank fairly a good amount of water, and I even drank a glass right before I tried to dose off.

Now on to what happened during the day... My morning started with a call from my beloved, and at first it was a pleasant one. Then it turned into a discussion that ended with an argument about a couple of things: wedding preparations, when he's coming back home, my own work-related problems. The rest of the day was like any normal working day. Then in the late afternoon I went ot Powerplant to meet up with my friends for some shopping and dinner. I ranted about what happened with Enrique, trying to justify my "stand," as well as told them about my work concerns. You know, just to make myself feel better. I even had a little bit of retail therapy on our second round of shopping. I went home quickly to watch Bituing Walang Ningning, then CSI Miami. Normally I fail to finish the episode as its time sched is late (for me at least), but somehow I finished watching it, and even finished the rerun of CSI LV. Then I closed the TV, but couldn't sleep.

I tried really hard, to no avail. I probably dosed off a couple of minutes, but then I get awakened again. I called up Enrique and told him I couldn't sleep. We talked for a while, then he told me to go sleep so I could rest. He reminded me to count cows backwards. And I did. Again, and again, and again. Until early morning came.

I really don't want to experience this again, as I value my sleep so much. Maybe the fact that my other half is away is taking its toll on me already. But what can I do?

*Sigh*

I hope I will shake off this sluggishness I am feeling right now here at the office, and I sure hope I won't fall asleep. Maybe I'll go home early. I don't know.

*Sigh*

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Beaten Black and Blue

While driving on my way home, my boss called me up and told me that Ateneo lost against UST. I was a bit shocked, although for some reason, I was expecting the outcome. I told him... "Ah really... I resign! If that's the reason you called!" And we started laughing. So he told me to just drive safely.

Anyway, yes, it's true, the radio confirmed it that UST won. Ateneo ran out of time for a last shoot, that's what I heard. I was hoping a bit that we will win so there would be a grand celebration again in the field, complete with bands playing, drinks (SMB and Ginebra Gin Blue!) flowing, and lechon baka food fest. Oh well.

Congratulations to UST, they truly are a worthy opponent. I'm not saying they're deserving though. Hehehe. Till next year!

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The Man Who Stayed

"It's emotionally rewarding to be with a person who's excited and happy to be with you. You'll wonder why, in the past, you chose to spend so much of your time with someone who didn't seem so interested."

This was my horoscope for the day, courtesy of the Philippine Star (actually it was a Saturday horoscope but I just read it now). And boy was it meaningful to me.

Some people read horoscopes to find out what future is in store for them. However, I see it not as a tool for fortune-telling, but a tool to help us reflect on our life and pinpoint the moments where we have learned something so that we can put them to good use in the present (or near future).

Take for example the above horoscope for me. It is very timely to read this because last Friday, my friend and I were talking about dealing with men, and when it was my turn to add to our discussion, I focused mainly on the past men that I have admired or had been involved with, and wondered what went wrong or what could have been. But reading the above two sentences makes me realize that I shouldn't be wondering about the couldas, wouldas, and shouldas. I should be celebrating more the fact that I am with someone who is so passionately in love with me, the same way that I am so passionately in love with him.

It is indeed emotionally rewarding for me to be in this relationship. Before, I was in constant uncertainty and fear that my relationship will end sooner than I hoped (and they did!), that I feared that my current squeeze will eventually lose interest in me. Of course I experienced emotional highs with them, but with more emotional lows, especially during the days nearing the doomsday. Other than my past relationships were my past "non-relationships," the times when I just admired from afar, because I know we didn't really match or the guy didn't give a hoot. And those felt terrible too, trying to be aloof but deep inside wanting to be with that person.

And now, I am with someone who I know loves me and REALLY wants to be with me. Someone who in my bleakest days proved to be the one inspiration for me to move on and continue the fight. It's true, what he told me last night as I ranted to him about beginning to be depressed because I only have a book and a candle to accompany me. He told me that I should see him in the candle (and the other way around too), that when I experience the darkest moments, just like the candle, he will bring me "light" and comfort. *Sigh*

So I guess I am "fulfilling" what the horoscope said. Yes, it makes me wonder why I spent much of my time and effort with someone who didn't have the same passion towards me. But then again, I will never regret all of those. My experiences with the Mr. Wrongs of my life helped me realize my capacity to love and get back to my feet after a hard fall. Those experiences helped me realize that I am truly blessed to be with the man who, in two months, will stand by the altar and wait for me.

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Saturday Night Ramblings

Since cable isn't available right now, I might as well ramble tonight...

Prada
Last night, Cat and I met up in Greenbelt, and we passed by Prada, where I wanted to show her the bag I’ve been eyeing lately...

Forget the girl, focus on the bag...



I salivated as soon as I saw the bag in the shop, and I almost died of shock at how much it would cost me if I splurge again.

However, I salivated even more and went gaga upon seeing these Fall Collection handbags over the internet.

My goodness! Makes me think "Why am I getting married?" Just kidding hahaha. Well... perhaps not really. Hahahahaha! It would probably cost me both my arms and legs. Sigh. Good thing it's not yet in the shops, or else I would be in a really serious dilemma.


Gwyneth's Headband

I don't know, for some reason I gravitated towards Gwyneth's hairdo when I saw her on TV. And this infatuation was confirmed when I saw the same band again worn by Sandra in Vogue October issue. Where can I get this band?!?


Bubble Skirt
Yet again, I was tempted to buy this black bubble skirt I saw (and fit) at the mall. Last year I was tempted to get one, but resisted. But now, I'm seriously thinking of getting one. I could just imagine myself wearing it, together with my latest shoes. I have yet to find a suitable top though. But in the meantime, that purchase is on hold.


Aching teeth
I was so happy when my orthodontist told me that my teeth greatly improved. He even joked, "Now you are ready to get married." Hahaha. I stopped laughing when my braces were tightened. I just don’t want to think about the pain right now, but I can't help it. My teeth hurt like hell!


Our Home
I went to Our Home again and I was really pleased to know that the sectional sofa I wanted to buy for our first nest can be custom-made, and can be delivered after 2-3 weeks. Whoopee! It’s just sad that the sale will only be until tomorrow (Enrique told me NOT to buy anything first because he wanted us to buy our stuff together), but it's ok. I also eyed some nice curtains and blinds that will go with our Modern Asian theme. There were also some cool paintings as well. I also jotted down the style name of this bed that’s nice as well. But what I liked the most was this 4-seater round dining set. It would have been better if it had the wengue finish, but all the same, the table and especially the chairs look so fab! Enrique, please come home NOW!


Anyway, that's it for now. My cold is bugging me and it's bed time. Nighty-night!

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Age of Enlightenment

Finally, the dark age is over.

I was beginning to be really depressed as I read a book using a candle, when the main light in our staircase area switched on.

Yes! After three days of almost city-wide blackout, we are finally overcoming the effect of typhoon Milenyo. Together with uprooted big trees, toppled electrical posts and billboards, the darkness completed the eerie atmosphere that has befallen over the city. Many of us wondered when will the gods give back again the gift of light (hahaha, how poetic), and most have accepted more dark nights upon hearing the news that even our main power supplier is still having problems. Some just went to the malls to cool themselves and have another drink of cold water. A few checked in to hotels. A good part of the population went over to the Coliseum to watch the much-awaited Game 2 between UST and the Ateneo. Another good part just went to sports bars to watch the game. Hehehe.

Kidding aside, in this dark age that I call, I learned some things, one of which is that without electricity, there is time for family bonding. Seriously, so many gadgets have kept some families (including mine) from spending time together, espcially after dinner. But the other night, as we were stripped off our computers, own TVs, and play stations, over candlelight we were singing together as my brother played his guitar (our family loves music). From there we started reminiscing about the past hits, who's generation has this genre, and what songs we loved to sing back then. Of course I was the one that was teased the most, since my love for music and singing was known eversince I began singing Rainbow connection at the age of 1 1/2. My sister re-enacted the way I sang and danced to the song of Kylie Minogue (yeah, the really old hits of Kylie), told my brothers the time in the province when there are town festivities and people invite me to sing to the crowd (Yes, the Madonna days). Apparently, people found it cute that a young girl like me sings La Isla Bonita, complete with perfect Spanish lyrics. And of course, my brothers couldn't believe it. Haha!

Another thing I learned from the dark nights is that we are so caught up with our gadgets that we fail to appreciate nature. No matter how polluted city air is, for some reason, the air was cool. I don't know if this was because of the typhoon or if people just parked their vehicles and stayed at home, but the air felt fresh.The sky was clear as well, and I could see more stars than usual (yep, in our village we still see those precious stars).

This experience also made me think about how dependent we have become on our own achievements and inventions. Earlier, I said I was beginning to be depressed, not only because of the seemingly sorry state I was in, but also because I missed my usual doses of electricity-is-needed activities. In felt that my day wasn't complete without me watching my favorite soap, CSI, Lifestyle Network, and featured films. I felt uncertain when it came to the numbered minutes of my mobile phone before it runs out of battery. But on the other side, I also appreciated how far we've come. Certainly our great ancestors never thought we would have achieved such technological advances, which is awesome really, except that these advances are also abused and put to use to the detriment of humanity.

Whew... that was some reflection. Hahaha.

But anyway, I am glad that there is electricity again. Now we can go back to our busy lifestyle. But honestly, I will keep these thoughts and my experiences with me. So the next time there will be another blackout, these are what I will tell over my own family bonding.

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Typhoon Milenyo

Right now there is a typhoon called Milenyo, and where am I?

Here at work of course. I didn't know that office was suspended. I wanted to just stay at home because I might get stuck later in flash floods, but I decided to just go ahead and report for work... we have one seafarer leaving tonight and I know (and hope!) my staff will be here at the office.

As expected, it was just me who arrived here on time, but my boss arrived around twenty minutes later. One of my staff came as well. So now we are around 6 people in our department. My boss told us that we will close shop early, but then the seafarers just kept coming in and of course we need to attend to them. Hopefully we will be officially off before lunch time.

Heck, I don't know why I'm like this. I had the option to just stay at home, but I get worried about work more than what I wanted. Well, maybe if Enrique was here things will be so much different. Priorities, priorities, hehehe.

But anyway, I also hope that the typhoon will be on its way out sooner and with minimal damage than expected.

And I gotta go home. Because my brother told me last night, rain or storm, the UAAP Junior and Senior Finals (where Ateneo is on the run for both championships) will still push through. Hehehe.

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Can't Beat The Black and Blue

I read an article in Philstar.com about our beloved Ateneo's win against UST, and I felt again that sweet moment I felt upon seeing the awesome shot of Doug Kramer.... And UST thought they bagged it. They were all cheering and dancing "Go USTe, Go USTe!" There was even a banner by UST that read... "OUST ATENEO!" But there was that one second.

One second. It all made the difference. Wohoooo!

Now I can't wait to see game 2. Although that first game would have been sooo much sweeter if it's a deciding game between Ateneo and La Salle. Like what my friend Liv said, what's the use of winning if La Salle isn't the opponent. Hehehe. Any which way, I'm still proud of our Blue Eagles for pulling off a wonderful Game 1. And kudos to Coach Black, that was one heck of a play! For a full story click on the blue eagle!

UST is indeed a worthy opponent, and it would be too early to say that we have bagged the championship. But still....

Can't Beat the Black and Blue!

Blue Eagle Spelling!


B-L-U-E E-A-G-L-E


Blue eagle, blue eagle, blue eagle... The King!

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Autumn Fashion

Fall... Autumn....

I love this season, not only because this is the theme of our wedding (in fact, this is why I chose an Autumn theme, I love this season), but because fashion-wise, this is the time for dressier outfits with really rich hues, including black. This is also my time of the year to semi-haul my wardrobe. Excuses excuses!

I envy our North-Western Hemisphere counterparts because they get to experience this season and because they have every right to wear those lovely, rich, and fashionable pieces, without being given those "looks" by onlookers. Anyway, I checked out Style.com, my daily bible for everything about fashion, and I just can't help but feel so sad that I can't wear those lovely outfits (aside from the fact that those clothes are sooo expensive)!

I especially liked the F/W 2006 Collections of Prada and Marc Jacobs...



I really love this season's looks: layering, plaid, and those bubble skirts. And knee-high boots. *Sigh*

Oh well, I will just settle for what is appropriate to wear here in my beloved country. But maybe I'll just incorporate some of the key looks into my wardrobe. Colors perhaps. Oh, and plaid. And that bubble silhouette. I may not be able to afford those pieces by Prada, but heck, there's Zara and Tyler anyway. And of course, there are so many good designers here should I opt to have some pieces custom-made. :D

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Total Effects+

After years of using couture skin care products, I have decided to put to an end this little madness of mine and start using less expensive alternatives. My past power potions have served me well anyway. It was such a blessing good timing when Olay Total Effects+ Cream was being advertised fiercely. Believe me, the ads were enticing enough that when the product was launched it was sold out! Lucky for me, I was able to grab one. I was so excited to try it, and after my first application, I was in love. My face felt so supple and smooth! The cream had a scent, but it was forgivable.

What is the fuzz about this moisturizer anyway? Well Olay claims that Total Effects+ fights the seven signs of aging, something that makes some women shudder just by the thought of that word. Olay claims to do the following:



1. Diminishes the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles
2. Smoothes skin texture
3. Evens skin tone for younger-looking, more balanced color
4. Improves surface dullness, giving skin a radiant healthy glow
5. Minimizes the appearance of pores
6. Reduces the appearance of blotches and age spots
7. Soothes dry skin, hydrating with Olay moisture


Olay also claims that results will be visible in three weeks. I hope this is true, and I hope all the more that the results will be good!

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Love-Hate

Love it. Hate it.

This is my current relationship with my job.

The week that was and this week were two terrible weeks when it comes to my work stuff, and I came this close to quitting my precious job and be content with being a housewife to be. So many challenges faced our fleet, and these had to do with being compassionate with our seafarers' personal requests. I just wonder if other shipping companies are like this to their own seafarers. But anyway, satisfaction was there when the jobs were completed, and we breathed a little easier yesterday.

However, knowing I'm the type of person who thinks and believes that stress causes cancer cells to form, I am still in doubt whether all these stress-inducing scenarios are still worth it. And I know for sure that these incidents will occur over and over again in different forms and gravity, I'm suddenly feeling insecure, that maybe I won't be able to handle things properly in the future, when my patience to my work runs out. Part of me wants to let go of this job, but another part of me doesn't want. Why? 1) I still want to earn my own keep 2) I don't want to rely on Enrique that much 3) I want to help with our finances 4) my job is a "noble" job.

Yep. When I think about it, my job is indeed a noble job. I get satisfied and happy because I know that by doing my job and doing it well, I help in securing work (ergo finance) to our fellow Filipino seafarers. It pains me whenever one crew failed his medical examination thus cannot be hired. It pains me when a crew has to go home because of family problems. It hurts when somebody gets injured and has to be repatriated back home. These things pain me because I know that most likely they are the breadwinners of their families, and without work times will be hard for most of them.

At least I know that somehow I am living up to the "Man for Others" principle taught in college.

Heck. Now I am starting to like my job again. I intended to write something to justify why I should quit my job. But now, I remember again the reasons why in the first place I accepted this work when I was psyched to become a housewife.

Oh well.

Again...

Love it. Hate it.

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French Mediterranean or Modern Asian?

Enrique and I dreamed of having a Modern Asian themed house of our own. However, I am beginning to like the look of the French Mediterranean / Old Spanish theme as well. We have both looked at South Forbes which showcased these two options before he left last March, and we both liked it, though we leaned towards the Modern Asian theme. But now that I'm thinking about our house plans again, I'm a little torn...

Modern Asian












French Mediterranean / Old Spanish

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What Kind of Baby Am I?

I got an email from my friend and it listed what kind of baby a person is according to the month one is born.

Here's my result.

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited.

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What Filipino Food Am I?

Got this from Jen's blog. This was my result...

Which Filipino Food Are You?

Sisig: Diced meats seasoned with spices and served on a sizzling hot platter

Take this quiz!

Quizilla Join Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code

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All About Food

I got this from Liv's blog, so now I'm answering the q's:

How do you like your eggs?: Scrambled. Sometimes with cheese.

How do you take your coffee/tea: Coffee - with cream; Tea - w/ just hot water.

Favorite breakfast foods: Though I rarely eat breakfast, my fave food to eat varies. Sometimes Beef tapa and longganisa. Sometimes just moist scrambled eggs and rice. Sometimes danggit or daing and rice. Sometimes, croissant and jam. I like quiches too.

Peanut butter: Crunchy!

What kind of dressing on your salad?: Preferably vinaigrette. Sometimes just olive oil and lemon.

Coke or Pepsi?: Both. I fancy Pepsi Twist though!

You’re feeling lazy. What do you make?: Scrambled eggs

You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?: Cheezy Volcano from Pizza Hut! Yellow Cab pepperoni pizza. Or Sbarro's white cheese pizza.

You feel like cooking. What do you make?: Any recipe from Nigella or Giada. but I will make multiple courses: appetizer (seared tuna perhaps), soup, pasta, meat, salad. I'll prepare cheese and fruit. Dessert, hmm.. probably will just buy something hehehe. And definitely I will serve champagne or wine. :D

Do any foods bring back good memories?: Crabs from Dampa. I miss our crabfest!

Do any foods remind you of someone?: Chicken feet, Sisig - Enrique loves these. And any food will remind me of Enrik. Again, i miss our food fests.

Is there a food you refuse to eat?: Ampalaya, okra. And those exotic stuff. No way.

What was your favorite food as a child? Tuna sashimi.

Is there a food that you hated as a child but now love? None!

Is there a food that you loved as a child but now hate? None I guess.

Favorite fruit & vegetable: Fruits: strawberries! Vegetables: broccolli, lettuce spinach, anything that can be used for salads.

Favorite junk food: Chips and dip. :D

Favorite between meal snack: I rarely snack, but when I do... hmm... anything I crave for?

Do you have any weird food habits: When I'm sick, I always want to have hot and sour soup. When I'm almost well, I order tuna sashimi or any kind of maki. Oh, even though they're ripe, I still sprinkle some salt on mangos (which I cut into squares).

You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on? I don't diet.

How spicy do you order Indian/Thai? Moderate to hot!

Can I get you a drink? Champagne Please! Or water, S. Pellegrino. Tehehehe.

Red wine or white? Red preferred, though it depends on the food.

We only have beer: No, thanks.

Favorite dessert? Creme Brulee. Cheesecake.

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If the Shoe Fits

It is quite rare that a pair of shoes from Nine West fit me (my feet are too small they don't fit a size 5M), and it is even much rarer that half a size higher than my usual shoe size. And so I succumbed to another shoe calling...

I love my new pair of shoes! Though there were three colors to choose from, I chose the brown one so it would fit in my planned wardrobe overhaul to reflect the Autumn season. I know, I know, I live in a tropical country, so there is no such thing as Autumn or winter or spring. Anyway, I totally love this new addition to my rack (hmmm, I think I already said that). I found this pair a week ago, but I was a bit squirmish about the fact that it is 1/2 size bigger, though it fit me quite ok. So a week passed by without me doing nothing. But then my sister asked me to go to Nine West, and as I looked at the pairs, I felt saddened because I the size of the displayed shoe is Size 7. I have reserved it but of course, there is only a holding period of 3 days. But lo and behold! The attendant told me that she hasn't released my reservation, and this, for me, is a "sign" that the shoe is meant for him. hahaha, I know, justifying and all.

But anyway, I am as happy as a clam because of my recent purchase. I showed it to my friend who just came from Manchester, and she digged it as well. So I guesss whatever my next clothign purchases will be, they would have to revolve around my current fave shoe, just like how my purchases before revolved around my bag. Hahaha.

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Ceasefire!

Finally!

After more than a month of constant arguments about wedding preparations, clash of personalities, accusations of not being able to understand and of being unaffectationate towards the other, Enrique and I had a really long talk that that didn't end in ugly terms. Sure, there was a bit of the usual arguing about certain opinions, but at least this time, we have acknowledged that when these petty debates happen, we don't just shut each other out and stop the conversation. That's what we did before. Result? Anger that resulted in threats to call of the wedding (on my part only, he didn't agree hahaha).

Enrique told me that he wants to strike out August 2006 from his memory. I told him he (or we) shouldn't, because the past month gave us an experience and different view of our relationship and who we really are. Many issues were raised and we saw our opinions and perceptions, our similarities and differences. At least we get a glimpse of each other's beliefs that we will probably never know had the situations last month didn't happen. Or probably we would see these, but it would be too late.

After our long phone conversation, I slept really well. Then my morning started with Enrique calling me and waking me up. *Sigh* I really hope that the last remaning days of being apart will be this peaceful. We both missed the "Us," the madly in love couple that we were. Of course, we are still madly in love, but back then everything was all rosy and all pleasant. I'm not expecting the next days of our lives to be all rosy and pleasant, but at least some issues and concerns between us have been cleared. Did our love for the other lessen because of the disappointments that we had? Not at all. In fact, it was even more confirmed that our love is strong, and grew even stronger than before.

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French Women Don't Get Fat

French Women Don't Get Fat"
by Mireille Guiliano

This book by Mr. Guiliano is a lovely little read to those who want to know the ultimate secret not only in getting and staying thin and healthy, but to know and practice the (lost) art of eating with pleasure.

"French Women Don’t Get Fat" tells the readers about this art that they have probably known all along (depending on how one was raised), but due to the changing times, the complexity of life, and other priorities, was set aside, left to be forgotten. It gives simple, logical, and practical tips, not gruesome strict regimes, on how to lose weight and be on a diet, without actually dieting. Sounds paradoxical right? Maybe at first, but in a deeper level, not so, because after reading the last page, this so-called French paradox is probably one of the most rational and practical way of thinking and being.

The book said, and to which I fully agree, that food is not the enemy here. It's how we view eating, our attitude towards food, what we eat (quality vs. junk) and the way we handle it that makes the difference. It further tells the reader that it is boredom that makes us consume more food, and that this probably is one of our real enemies. I do not want to divulge much on the full content of the book, but in summary, here are the major points:

- 3 weeks observing and jotting down everything you eat
- Re-casting: rounding up the usual suspects, adjusting what you eat, changing how you eat
- Ritual preparation: use all the senses when planning meals. Mind the seasons and seasonings used.
- Ritual Eating
- Variety: boredom leads to overeating
- Portion Control
- Water!
- Movement, breathing, posture
- Balance.

One should see, feel, and sense, experience, and enjoy the pleasure of eating, rather than eating merely to fill our stomachs and satisfy our hunger. Which is why I totally abhor what people often call lunch meetings. For me it is utter disrespect towards the bounty and blessings served in front of us. I mean, how can you concentrate on eating when you are talking business, or vice versa? Sure, good company and good conversation further enhances your eating experience. But really, do topics and agendas for the meeting count as good conversation topics?

All my life I have been pleasantly (but to some unpleasant) slim, and it is just now that I am experiencing weight gain (Major contributor? Being in love I guess). Still, quite a lot consider me as underweight - I am currently 100 lbs., and at 5'3 that may be so. I correct them though that I may be under the "normal" figures, but I am definitely not undernourished. My friends can attest to that; they are amazed (and finally accepted so they are no longer surprised) as to how much I eat (the "right" kinds of food), and eat with gusto. One even commented that she didn’t like eating next to me, because whenever she sees me eat with so much satisfaction, she gets carried away and eats more than what she originally intended to. Well, they just don't know that I compensate in other ways – I adjust my food intake after a big gastronomic exercise. I am also not too keen on anything sweet with lots of sugar and I am not a big eater of junk food either so that is probably one balancing factor. Plus, I only eat when I am hungry, so that is on the average 3 times a day. A "bad" practice though is not eating breakfast, just drinking water in the morning. I know, it is the most important meal of the day, but I just couldn't take food in the morning, and I don’t want to force myself. It's just not right (for me at least). But I am trying gently.

I also connected with the book when I read the part on exercising. I did try to go to the gym, but after a month of going there once or twice a week, it still wasn't my cup of tea. Maximum effort, minimal pleasure. I don't think so. My form of exercise was and still is walking… at the mall, or walking in nature parks, and sometimes, yoga. Lately though I tried to go back to the gym, but on a smaller scale - our office gym. I however focus more on the treadmill and doing yoga poses. My colleagues are amazed and actually laughed when after "exercising" I ate. "What’s the use of exercising when afterwards you eat?" of which my answer was, "I exercise to keep my body moving and to be in tip top shape and toned, not to lose weight."

Again, it goes back to attitude - towards food, eating, movement, body, self. More importantly, it goes back to our attitude towards life.

If Mireille’s book truly gives us the secrets of the French as to why they are not fat, then I must be French. But no, I am proudly Filipino. And Filipinos do love eating, and when it comes to life, have a fairly positive outlook and disposition. How else can we explain our national greeting "Mabuhay," which roughly means"full of life?" The French may probably be just more known when it comes their gastronomic pleasures and their constant pursuit of la joie de vivre. However, anyone can, like others say, "be like the French." But going back to the simple (not!) topic on food. I repeat once again that it is our attitude towards eating and food that makes the difference between being fat and unhealthy and being thin, but still healthy.

The next time you eat, anticipate pleasure. Smell the aroma of your food; feast your eyes on how it was presented. Savor each and every bite you take. And at the end, acknowledge the satisfaction you get from each and every meal you take. Gain a few pounds? If it matters, then round up the usual suspects and do a little adjusting. If it doesn’t matter, then so what right? As long as you are comfortable with your self... that is what matters.

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The Boring Me?

Last night before I went home, I read again some of my very first posts in my blog and I was fascinated by the topics that I have written when I was 26 and decidedly single (hahaha do I have to stress the words decided and single? haha). From the Quarterlife Crisis blues to the question of becoming an old maid, there was so much uncertainty in me during those times. And it was fun...

Don't get me wrong, I love my life right now. However, there are times when I feel that I'm somewhat different now. Example, lately my blog topics have been blah topics made worse by blah writing (for me at least). There seems to be nothing much and nothing fun to write about. Is my life getting boring? Did I stop pursuing la joie de vivre? Does stability result in boredom?

Or is it that I am focusing too much on my problems and work, instead of seeing the world the way I see it before?

I have once read The Little Prince, and it mentioned something about the difference between grown-ups and children. This must have been a big impact on me because to see the world in the eyes of the child - awe, wonder, excitement, carefree, joy, hope - has been my attitude, up until lately (well that's how I feel, really). Or am I just worrying too much? But then again, the fact that I am worrying too much means something too.

Am I growing old?

Don't get me wrong, I do not have the Peter Pan mentality (the extreme one of not wanting to growing up). It's just that lately I have been very tired of things and I don't see and feel pleasure in those I have seen and felt pleasure before. Even (and most especially) in food (gasp!). I used to feel the richness, sniff the aroma, experience the moment of eating well. Now, I just eat.

Maybe I need to take time out from all my fears, problems, and thoughts about work (more than I should), and reflect why I have strayed from the "old me." I should probably read again all those books I have loved and cherished in order for me to get grounded yet again.

They say that life is what happens while you are busy. Heck, I don't want to miss the boat. I hope I haven't yet.

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Enrique's Tough Decision

*Sigh*

Enrique and I was able to talk last night after two days of being not ok with each other. I thought things are already ok - our wedding plans, immediate and future plans. And then he told me the news...

The Master onboard talked to Enrique and told him that he is recommending him for a promotion, provided that Enrique stays onboard at least until November.

Enrique's decision? Never mind the promotion, he will only stay until mid-October.

Reason? Because he feels that I need him badly in these times, and that he wants to help with the wedding preparations.

I was shocked, and my first reaction was... "But why? Go stay until November!"

He was a bit irritated at me and said that I should support him with all the decisions he made, makes, and will make. I asked him why he didn't consult with me, and all he said was that he just decided on it. It was later on that I realized that maybe he didn't ask for my opinion because he knows me, he knows how I think, and he knows that I will tell him to stay for the sake of his promotion. In the end, he asked me, "Aren't you happy you will see me soon?"

Of course I'm happy that he's coming home soon. But part of me was sad because I knew that because of me (me and my dang problems...), he is letting go of a promotion where only one more major step and he will become Captain. However, Enrique also told me that the Master will give him a strong recommendation for promotion so that in his next vessel assignment, he will be in that position.

My friend Liv told me that I should be thankful because it clearly shows that he prioritizes me above everything else. Yes, I am very thankful, but... *Sigh*

Anyway, all I can say is... I'm a so proud of my Enrique. I know and believe that he is a very talented, skillful, and smart person, and that opportunities are there always. I know God has better plans for both of us. Maybe now is not the right time, but I know that time will come when Enrique will fulfill all his dreams.

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Blog Look Revamp

Yet another revamp of the look of my blog.

*Sigh*

You know, a form of therapy to sooth my mind after a really gruelling week of hard work and challenges. I deserve a medal here at work. Good thing I like my job a lot, because... it is sooo not worth the pressure!

*Sigh*

Another rant. But then again.... like what my blog header says... I should be the "Carefree.Woman" that I used to be. And so I will. Tehehehe.

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Book Review: A Guide To Elegance

A Guide to Elegance by Genevieve Antoine Dariaux is a little elegant book that provides an A to Z guide on how to be and how to look elegant at all times. It is a light read, packed with do's, don'ts, and reminders, about topics from accessories to jewelry to shoes.

One would definitely find the book to be enjoyable, though at times one might feel that the guides are too strict or too outdated, especially if the reader has embraced a little bit of bohemian style. Yet, the reader would in the end understand that this book goes beyond fashion and trends. It is clearly about style, and as the title implies, about elegance.

The book may look elegant, the text well-written, but the question is, will you learn something from it? Yes, of course. A lot actually. For example, to have a small wardrobe with high quality and classic items is better than having a big one full of items that you would care less after a use or two. Another example, which serves as a reminder really, is that using a finger to dislodge a particle between your teeth is a serious crime against elegance. So yes, you will learn a lot. But you have to read the book twice or more in order for the do's and don'ts to sink in.

Some Quotes from the Book

On Chic
The essence of casual refinement, chic is a little less studied than elegance and a little more intellectual. It is an inborn quality of certain individuals, who are sometimes unaware that they possess it. Chic is only perceptible to those who have already acquired a certain degree of civilization and culture and who have in addition both the leisure time to devote to improving their appearance and the desire to be part of a particular kind of elite, which might be called the "aristocracy of external appearance."

On Discretion
A person who has really succeeded in life no longer feels the need to attract attention, and perhaps this is why so many very wealthy and prominent women become more and more conservative in their dress.

On Fashion
No woman can be elegant if she tries to combine in a single outfit the inspirations of several different designers. A fashion ensemble is not the Reader's Digest.

On Luxury
It may be interpreted to mean superfluous, expensive, refined, extravagant - in any case, it is a word that caresses the ear as well as the imagination. Its sense is therefore completely subjective. perhaps the idea of luxury stems basically from a comparison between the minimum standard of living of one group and another. For many women, the sensation of luxury comes simply from the possession of an object that her friends do not own.



Rate: 4 out of 5.

Where to Buy:
- Amazon.com
- Powerbooks
- Fully Booked

Other Books to Read:
1. Entre Nous by Debra Ollivier (A Must Read! 5 out of 5)
2. Audrey Style by Pamela Clarke Keogh, Hubert de Givenchy (A Must Read! 5 out of 5)

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"The Sister I Never Had"

"I love Dorina... She's the sister I never had..."

What the??? That was the killer and heart-breaking statement of Niko when Zosimo asked if he likes Dorina.

Hehehe. I know, I know, another dose of Bituing Walang Ningning. I shouted when I heard that and felt sorry for Dorina. Now I'm not sure if they will end up together, just like in the movie.

Anyway, going back to the real life, I just thought right now, was I ever placed in that situation when I got to like a guy, and that guy just considered me the sister he never had? Did I ever experience that? Not that I recall, but if ever, I would have probably sulked and cried a river. I don't know which is much worse: liking a guy but the guy doesn't like you back; OR liking a guy, and the guy likes you too, a lot really... as a sister. Dang.

I did however have a couple of experiences when I madly fell in love with a guy, but the guy was just too jerky to go on to the next level (hahaha snooty me). Some of my friends actually told me that I have this habit of liking really jerky guys, guys who would want to know first if the girl likes them before they do something. Or guys who like you but are afraid that he would be un-cool to the eyes of his peers if they find out he digs you. But then of course, that was during college days.

Going back to Bituing Walang Ningning... I think I have to go home now so I can watch the next episode. I'm sure Dorina will pour her heart out to his real mother Rosa Mia. And I still hope that in the end, it would be Niko and Dorina. I love those kinds of endings. Predictable, but still nice. And if that really happens, I hope Dorina will have at least a small amount of "evil" thought and say... SISTER MY ASS!

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Weekend Escapades

Last week was yet another rollercoaster ride for me, made longer by the declared non-working holiday yesterday...

SATURDAY

Grandfather's Condition
My grandfather was rushed to the hospital late last week. I spent whole day in the hospital. Upon seeing him when I went to the ICU, I broke down into tears, as I'm not used to seeing him in that condition. But he was able to talk to me, and even asked when our wedding will be held. He told me not to cry. He said that he's ok, though he feels weak. :-(

First Facial... Ever!
Late Saturday afternoon I went to the VMV shop in Powerplant for my first facial appointment. I got curious a week before, and so I just went on and made an appointment. The first part of the facial was really nice and soothing. Then... BAM! What the??? No one told me that those dang facials can be sooo painful! I was just shocked at the first, hmm what do you call it, prick(?) of a microscopic whitehead in my forehead. The whole time, about less than 10 minutes, tears rolled down my face, as I endured each and every prick the dermatologist made. Maybe my tolerance to that kind of pain was very minimal, and honestly, that kind of pain was so not worth it. I mean, I really don't have problematic facial skin, except for these very tiny blackheads in my nose, so enduring that kind of ordeal was really very... sigh... dang. Whatever. Maybe I will continue getting facials, but not the pricking part. Oh well. But for those who need facials and are addicted to them, VMV does a great job, really!

Fully Booked
After the facial, I went to Fully Booked to check out the latest releases, and I ended up staying there for about 3 hours! However, i was onyl able to buy one book, "French Women Don't Get Fat." Yup, I read this book last year when it was released, but I wasn't able to buy it... lack of funds hahaha! I managed to read it though because I spent the whole time in Powerbooks reading it. Hehehe. Bad bad bad! So anyway, I got my own copy, and it realyl was a fun read. Didn't finish the book yet though. But i do plan to make a review on it.

Dinner at Kulinarya
I had dinner alone in Kulinarya after a couple of grumbles from my stomach. It didn't bother me that I was alone though, and I had my book in tow anyway so I was reading a bit while waiting for my food. My order came, and I was mildly disappointed by how the plating looked. It looked just like a kiddie meal: the boneless chicken just beside the pasta. I just thought that maybe I'm a little too snooty when it comes to food, and what mattered was how it tasted. First, the pasta. Well, it was al dente alright, but the pasta sticked to one another I just wondered, "Can they at least microwave it properly?" It was not that hot, and where was the spinach pesto? Or was it this one dot on the side of the pasta? Again, another minus for me. What redeemed the whole meal was the boneless chicken. It tasted really fabulous, and the meat was cooked just right. I especially liked the sauce poured over it. The wonders of using a little capers! But anyway, I was really expecting more from the resto. But it will not stop me from eating there again and trying out their lamb chops and other dishes.

SUNDAY

Day at home...
I spent the whole day at home, and boy this was a gloomy time for me... All I can say is, I just got to accept the whole of my fiance. Honestly, we were not really in the best of our terms, and so it came to no surprise when we had a huge argument.

Vintage Bazaar
After teetering on whether to go or not to go, I finally decided to go to the Vintage Bazaar together with Enrique's niece, Erica. Dang, I wished I didn't go! Well, partly wish hehehe. Why? because I spent a huge amount again! Anyway, I was only able to buy a Debbie Co black ruffled top and a really nice pair of sandals (with orange and moss green leather straps) by Sapato Manila. Considering that I am trying to save, I'm still very happy I made those purchases. I mean, the Debbie Co top was a unique piece, and it's simply for me (hahaha), and the Sapato sandals are really comfy (though I had a small scrape in the side of my foot, you know still not used to it). The Sapato sandals are well-priced, and are made of real leather.

Brazil! Brazil!
We were sooo hungry after browsing thru all the items in the bazaar, so I treated Erica for dinner at Brazil Brazil. I chose this resto because I wanted to take her to somewhere she hasn;t eaten before. We stuffed ourselves a little too much that we could hardly stand! Hahaha! We even compared as to who had the bigger increase in stomach size (of course, mine). But I was a little shocked with the bill. Wow! Almost PhP 750 bucks, inclusive of those dang evat and service charge! Well, what can we do, eating out nowadays is really a bitch, especially in these kinds of restos, where I believe that the food is very much overpriced, thanks to the evat and all. Oh well.

MONDAY

Lunch at Penang
I met up with my friend for lunch in Greenhills, and we chose to eat in Penang. As usual, we discussed about wedding preps and some rants and all about... you know, life and fiances. Tehehehe. So anyway, after that we strolled for a bit, passing by Our Home and Toy Kingdom. My friend had a major fixation on My Little Pony, and I was a little tempted to buy a Bratz doll that almost looked like me (hahaha!), but we just left the toystore empty-handed. She had to leave because she had a date with her fiance, so I was left alone. And maybe I was meant to because....

Devil Wears Prada!
I was really surprised and my moods really lifted up when I saw that this much-awaited movie (to me at least) was being shown in advance! It was a bugger that I had to wait for 2 hours for the next showing, but I still opted to watch the movie... alone of course. Those 2 hours of waiting was spent in Fully Booked (again, geezh what a bookworm). Anyway, I was really excited and hoped that the movie would be an awesome one... and it was, yipee! I totally loved the clothes, and the story itself was nice. They have altered the story a bit, especially how things turned out in the end, but I think it was better than the book itself. Go Miranda Priestly! Tehehehe.

Chic Happens
While waiting for the movie, I bought the book of Kitty Go, entitled "Chic Happens." This was the follow-up on her controversial first book "When Chic Hits The Fan." Both books are "fictional," according to her, though I think that her characters really portrayed real life celebrities and persons in the social scene. I was mildly disappointed with the second book, as I know that the first book had more juicy stuff (gossip girl hahaha!). But anyway, I'll just borrow from my friend the first book, and I will lend her the second as well.

Anyway, so after all these... was I happy the whole weekend? Actually, no. Until now I am still not that happy. Why? because I know Enrique and I are not really happy at the moment.

*Sigh*

I hope that everything will turn out fine. It has to...

Drama, drama, drama...

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The Secret Is Out!

Finally! The secret is out.... Rosa Mia now knows that her daughter is none other than Dorina Pineda! *Clap Clap Clap*

Sorry, I am so hooked on the telenovela "Bituing Walang Ningning" that sometimes I rethink any dinner dates with my friends, thinking that I might miss a juicy scene. This is the first time I got hooked on a Filipino telenovela, as my own tv world used to only consist of Lifestyle Network, HBO, Star Movies, and all CSI.

Anyway, the story of thie telenovela is a rather old one, as it started out (I think) as a comic series, later on immortalized in the silver screen. I mean, who can ever forget the famous scene where Cherie Gil splashed water on Sharon Cuneta's face after uttering the even more famous line "You're nothing but a second rate, trying hard, copycat!"

It's too bad the Angelika dela Cruz, who revived the role of Lavinia, didn't deliver the line with the same snootiness as Cherie Gil, but all the same, it was still a nice scene. And kudos to Sarah Geronimo, who portrayed Dorina pretty well. Although I hope that the directors start using other songs since the current ones are starting to be annoying, as they are just the one being sung over and over and over.

In this telenovela, they have added more characters and more twists, though I hope that they will stay true to the story's ending. And so far, I am loving the scenes and stories. I mean, at least it is better than the old Filipino telenovelas when the contrabidas are too bad to be true and there seemed to be constant cryings, slappings, and the like. I hope that they don't drag the plot too much though, as that would be the beginning of it's downfall, i.e. boring, nakakaumay.

But in the meantime, I'm still happy as a clam. Go Dorina! Tehehehe.

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Dreams Interpreted

I asked my friend Brian to read my post on my nightmares, and he gave me this website... Dream Moods

"I'm Being Chased"
Chase dreams often stem from feelings of anxiety in your walking life. The way we respond to anxiety and pressure in real life is typically manifested as a chase dream. Running is an instinctive response to physical threats in our environment. Often in these dream scenarios, you are being pursued by some attacker, who wants to hurt or possibly kill you. You are running away, hiding, or trying to outwit your pursuer. Chase dreams may represent your way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. Instead of confronting the situation, you are running away and avoiding it. Ask yourself who is the one chasing you and you may gain some understanding and insight on the source of your fears and pressure.

The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent a part of yourself. Your own feelings of anger, jealousy, fear, and possibly love, can assume the appearance of threatening figure. You may be projecting these feelings onto the unknown chaser. Next time you have a chase dream, turn around and confront your pursuer. Ask them why they are chasing you. One may be consumed by their own anger, jealousy, love, or self-destructive behavior. For example, you may be drinking too much or exhibiting open hostility toward others around you. You may subconsciously be threatened by these actions which have been jeopardizing your relationships and/or career. Your dreams are a way of calling attention to these self-destructive actions.

A more direct analysis of chase dreams is the fear of being attacked. Such dreams are more common among women than men, who may feel physically vulnerable in the urban environment. These dreams are inspired by fears of violence and sexual assault in which we are so over-exposed from the media. The violence that the media portrays magnifies our fears and how at risk we all are.

"I'm Flying"
Flying dreams fall under a category of dreams where you become aware that you are dreaming, known as lucid dreaming. Many dreamers have described the ability to fly in their dreams as an exhilarating, joyful, and liberating experience.If you are flying with ease and enjoying the scene and landscape below, then it suggests that you are on top of a situation. You have risen above something. It may also mean that you have gained a different perspective on things. Flying dreams and the ability to control your flight is representative of your own personal sense of power. Having difficulties staying in flight indicates a lack of power in controlling your own circumstances. You may be struggling to stay aloft and stay on course. Things like power lines, trees, or mountains may further obstruct your flight. These barriers represent a particular obstacle or person who is standing in your way in your waking life. You need to identify who or what is hindering you from moving forward.

If you are feeling fear when you are flying or that you feel that you are flying too high, then it suggests that you are afraid of challenges and of success.

In reality, we do not have the ability to fly. Thus such dreams may represent that which is beyond our physical limitations. In your mind, you can be anybody and do anything. Another way of interpreting flying dreams is that these dreams symbolize your strong mind and will. You feel undefeatable and nobody can tell you what you cannot do and accomplish. Undoubtedly these dreams leave you a great sense of freedom.

Fighting Vampires
The vampires in your dream may suggest that you are feeling drained of your life energy and autonomy. In dreaming that you are fighting these vampires, is a literal depiction of your daily struggles with keeping things in order. You may be suffering from exhaustion or feeling overwhelmed in some aspect of your domestic or personal life which explains the tiredness you feel when you wake up.

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Nightmares

Last night, I had two consecutive nightmares, although both ended in somewhat good ways. But what do they mean?

Dream 1
I was a black kid, around 5 years old. I was playing with this other black kid, but he was being rough. In our rough play, he fell down the slope, and he died. As soon as this happened, his tribe went out chasing me. I was running for my life, hiding running, swimming in all know places, always almost getting caught. The chief of that tribe was the one chasing me, and he was really big and powerful. A foreign man helped me hide, but unfortunately that chief killed that man. It was really scary. I ended up hiding in a very old house, where an old lady lived. I was in a corner, and the chief black man was just outside the window. Then the next thing scenario was the old lady was pampering and cleaning up this white baby. And that was me! For some reason i transformed into a white one. The black chief saw me, and was ready to stick this needle in my thigh to kill me, but he couldn't. End of dream 1.


I woke up and thought why do I always have those dreams where I'm being chased all the time? This dream however was "repackaged," as normally my dreams are about me being chased by vampires. The only plus is that I can fly.

So I slept, but then I had another, more sinister dream...

Dream 2
The initial setting was in our old house in Mandaluyong. I was protecting this child from being caught by a group of vampires. I placed a couple of rosaries on her, as well as on me, and got a couple of bottles of holy water and crucifixes. So anyway, I began flying, but I didn't know where to go. The vampires were drawing nearer, and so I had to come up with a plan to kill that chief vampire. In order to kill that vampire, I must lure him to a holy place then the kid I'm protecting will be the one to kill him (she had some special powers, but only in doing this). So I clothed her with a dark cloth, and I rode on top of this special vehicle of this vampire. The chief vampire saw me, and so I just flew as fast as I can, and they started chasing me. They got hold of the map where I'm suppsoed to go, and so they went ahead and plotted ways to kill me. When they arrived in that old sunken church in Tagaytay, the chief ssaid he'll handle it. And so he went inside alone. When that vampire was in that spot where I wished him to be, I struck him hard with a big crucifix. The vampire laughed and said I couldn't kill him because only the child could kill him, and that child was nowhere in sight. Little did he know that I secretly slipped the kid in one of the vampires and when they came to the place, I got hold of her. And so i took the child out, and the child struck him with a crucifix in his left hand. The vampire was pinned to the ground. She struck him again on the right hand, further pinning him down. And lastly, for some reason, the child finally struck him in the middle of the forehead (I thought it was supposedly in the heart). And so the vampire died. End of dream 2.


Whew... those were really scary dreams. Awesome, but scary. I thought both were real!

So what do there dreams mean? I hope someone can tell me, as I'd really want to know.

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Dinner at Burgoo

Last night I had dinner in Burgoo with my former w@wie friends: Jen, Jane, Arlene, and Maricel (plus Maricel's friend Cheggs(?), and Arlene's yaya). It has been a really long time since we last went out to dinner - hectic work, delicate pregnancy, mismatched schedules. But we tried our very best to finally meet up last night.



Anyway, I was really pleasantly surprised with Arlene, our preggy friend. She looked so radiant!!! I wish I could have that same radiance when it's my turn. Although she walked slowly because of her delicate condition, she still looked dang good!

The dinner was really a good meeting of friends. Stories, experiences, updates... *Sigh* it's good to be around these ladies... makes me forget for a while the problems I have...

Anyway, on a lighter note... I bought a book and a magazine to keep me from getting bored over the weekend... Yipee! Hehehe. The last two weeks I've been doing pretty much nothing after work, so I just bought a book in order to keep me preoccupied.

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Just My Luck

Last Friday, I watched the movie Just My Luck (starring La Lohan) with my "niece-in-law" and it was a blast! I had fun watching it, and at least my depression eased out a bit. The movie was a little too impossible though... imagine all your life you've been very lucky, and nothing bad has ever happened to you. But still, we both enjoyed each and every scenario offered by the movie.

While on our way home (hailing a cab again, to no avail. Good thing there’s this cab service), I kept thinking about my life. Was I ever lucky? And if so, did I ever get lucky most of the time, or mostly my life had been a series of mostly unlucky moments rather than lucky ones?

While thinking about the questions I have thought of, I realized that I do have a "charmed" life, a life that I have been taking for granted (just like Lindsay in the movie) and realized it when it was taken away. Well, it's not that my life is so bad right now, but last week weren't the best either.

But like what the movie said, to have luck or "blessings" is just like a wheel, one moment you have it, the next you don't until you have it again. And I have witnessed this over the weekend. I had been having sleepless nights and depression last week because of what happened to me and all, but last weekend, a burden was lifted, thanks to Enrique. He secretly talked to my dad, just to tell him that I'm ok. I don't know, but he was right, after this, I felt fine. He felt fine. His mother felt fine. And also, I have been ranting about hailing cabs and all, that was the "unlucky" part after years of driving my own car. But today, the tide has turned a bit when I was able to drive Enrique's car. I hope that this streak will continue, and that my life will now see bluer skies. And I promise that once my "charmed life" is finally back, I will never take it for granted. And I will always keep in mind what I have always believed in my heart, that all low moments of my life actually lead to better endings.

And also, I believe that all "lucky" moments are not really about luck, but are about blessings.

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Success!

Hah!

After 5 hours of driving lessons over the weekend, I finally used our car to go to the office this morning. Though I stopped about twice, I'm still happy that I reach the office with no accidents and all. YES!

I almost didn't get to bring the car today because just yesterday we found out that the battery got discharged. We thought it got fixed after an hour of turning the engine on. This morning however, the battery finally went dead. I was really disappointed because I was looking forward to driving the car and testing my "newfound" skills. I was about to hail a taxi when our resident mechanic arrived. I was so relieved!

Anyway, what I'm a little worried now is going home. I hope I can pull off another successful attempt in driving that dang manual transmission car. Oh well... I know I can do it!

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Hailing A Taxi Is A Bitch!

Well, at least getting one in Enrique’s place.

It’s the third straight day that I’ve been commuting going to work and coming home, and believe me, getting a cab along Enrique’s street really is impossible! Considering that their street is a main street if you are going to Makati. The first two days, I was plain lucky because in those two instances, the passengers got dropped off along our street. However, today was totally a bugger. I waited for about 30 minutes (same as the first two days), with no luck. And so I took the pedicab going to the Mandaluyiong circle. Fortunately, I was able to get one. Whew!

It’s not that there aren’t any cabs, it’s either the cab has passengers, or the driver doesn’t even stop (though vacant). The other day it was raining really hard, and I had this one chance of hailing one. However, that darn driver said that it’s too traffic going to Makati. HELLO?!? Everyday almost everywhere there’s heavy traffic, what more if it’s raining! And, don;t they feel a little bit more sympathetic to us commuters drenched in the rain waiting for a good soul to transport us? Dang… There really is not much care in this world.

Oh well. Can’t do anything. Two more gruelling days I guess, before I take driving lessons for a manual transmission car. Yup, I only used to drive autuomatic cars, but of course, beggar’s can’t be choosers right? So rather than trying so hard to hail a cab while the car is parked idly, I would prefer taking a 5-hour course over the weekend so I can drive that dang thing next week.

If not, hello new Mazda!

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Blog Me?

The other day, my friend Liv was a bit exasperated when she learned that she couldn't access blogs (including hers) in blogger from her office. She was delighted however to have learned about Wordpress, and so she imported all her blog entries to her blog's new home.

She insisted that I use Wordpress as my blogs' "mirror site" so that she could still read my ramblings and thoughts. Somewhere along our conversation, we have thought of one question...

Why Blog?

Why are we so into the whole blogging thing? When we tried to rationalize our blogging craze, we initially had one word in common to describe this art of self-expression:

Therapy.

To blog or journal-writing, at least for me, is a therapeutic tool I have been using since the first time I have discovered my inner desire to express myself through words. I recall that I had numerous notebooks filled with my pre-teen ramblings, frustrations, dreams, desires, secrets, prayers, hexes (just kidding), etc...

Though I have forgotten to write for a couple of years, my desire to express my thoughts came back to life when I learned of online journals. I immediately subsribed to these blogsites. At first, I felt a bit uneasy using it, especially if the topics I wanted to write about are a bit sensitive. After all, aren't journals supposed to be secret memoirs, tucked under our pillows or stashed in some sort of secret compartment, complete with lock and key? Using online journals, instead of keeping your most private thoughts and (and in my case, biatchiest rants), exposes not only your milestones and momentous events and happy thoughts. It also exposes your most vulnerable side, your irrational and dirtiest (or skankiest) thoughts, and the evil side in you (that is, if you are completely open to writing everything).

However, I still chose to use blogs, because first, I couldn't shake off my old habit of journal-writing, and second, online journals are more accessible (hey, I am in front of the computer almost the whole day!).

At first I was a bit conscious on what I wrote about, then later on all out self-expression. As people started reading my blog, and a few even commented on what I have written, I realized that I enjoyed blogging because I felt I was connecting with the readers, with my friends, with my chatmates. I felt that this was a way of keeping each other updated on how we are, a way of disclosing (with or without knowing it) our own personalities entry by entry. And everytime people commented, I felt that I wasn't alone with my feelings or emotions I felt while writing about a certain topic, whereas in private journals, though I have blurted everything in writing, I was still alone, and it's only me who comforts myself.

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Ghosts of The Past

Last night I had coffee with my former officemate from my first employer. It was a pleasant surprise that he sent me a text message early that day, given that prior to him sending me one, I was thinking about my former company and how my good ol’ friends were.

Anyway, it was a really nice meet-up. We talked about our current disposition in life (him married, yet on the rocks, me engaged to be married), work stuff, and of course, my past…

There were so many things that happened to me, pleasant and unpleasant, back then. Some proved to be very vital and good decisions, and a few that still haunted me up until yesterday.

Maybe that chance coffee break me and my friend had was one of God’s way of telling me to finally let go of the ghosts of my past that kept on haunting me. I have always thought that all misfortunes that happened to me afterwards were some sort of punishments that I deserved, because of the wrongs that I did. Maybe yesterday was God’s way of telling me that in those times He has never forsaken me, but I instead interpreted my misfortunes the wrong way.

Last night I was finally enlightened, especially when my friend told me that all the decisions and actions I took, which I thought were really bad decisions, were actually good decisions at that time. I was young and vulnerable and immature back then. Today, I’m still relatively young, quite confident, and… immature still (Enrique and I had that same thought when we talked early this morning about what transpired last night, hahaha).

This comment by my friend made me realize that I had to accept all that has happened to me, learn from my experiences, and let go. I told my friend that all the experiences I had made me all the more appreciate things, like the concept of marriage and love between husband and wife. Our conversation made me appreciate all the more the kind of love Enrique gives me. This morning I poured my heart out to Enrique, and told him how blessed I feel simply because he loves me.

Overall, it was really very enlightening to talk to my friend again. At least we have seen how far we have gone and achieved, both professionally and personally.

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Wedding Gift for Enrique

I really really want to buy a watch for Enrique for our wedding, but due to financial limitations for now, I guess this has to be put on hold.

This is what I planned to buy for him.


IWC Ingeniur Collection

But ultimately, when we become successful in our respective careers (he as a Master Mariner, me as a loving housewife hehehehe), I want to give this to him...

A. Lange and Sohne 1815 Automatik Collection

Nice, no?

Hay.... Someday soon.

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Things I Live By

Last week I bought the latest issue of Marie Claire Philippines, and I found this issue very interesting! I was especially inspired by the cover issue story “Things Eula Valdez Lives By,” that I decided to come up with my own list of things that I do live by.

Aside from living the 10 Commandments and the Christian/Catholic Teachings, here is my list, covering various aspects of my life and my interests:

The Golden Rule: “Do Unto Others What You Want Others To Do Unto You”
This rule is similar to Jesus’ saying, but on a different manner: “Don’t DO Unto others What You Don’t Want Others To Do Unto You.” As much as I can, I try to live by this rule. Of course, I’m only human and I do commit mistakes, but at least I am conscious of what I try to live by.

Love With All Your Heart, Mind, and Soul.
I can’t explain, but I live by this. Regarding romance… well… I believe that romance should always be present between husband and wife. I hope that 50 or more years from now, I can still see in Enrique’s eyes that same spark and loving and intense look I see right now.

Never Spread False Rumors Against Someone
This is actually part of the 10 Commandments. My “sin” here is probably to rant about what I have actually experienced with that person. So I guess that’s not spreading false rumors right? Hahahaha.

Eat and be Merry. Respect the Food in Front of You.
I don’t like the notion of lunch meetings. Come on, respect the food that you’ve been blessed. Whenever I eat, I savor the experience and the taste of the food. And I don’t eat as if there’s no tomorrow. I just eat with gusto…

Attune To Nature as Much As Possible.
I don’t know, but I feel so attuned with nature. I love communing with our Mother Earth. It gives me that feeling of a presence higher than us.

Don’t Love Your Work, Just Be Interested and Enjoy It.
Some people have the tendency to overwork themselves, therefore their work somehow rule their life. But not for me. Like what I say… it’s only work. The worst that can happen is you’ll get fired.

Have Your Own Personal Space.
That’s why I keep this personal blog of mine. I try to be one with my family (or husband and kids), without losing myself or my identity as a person.

Keep The Faith
So many cynics in this world. So many people thinking that there is no meaning in life. I had so many trials in life that there were times I felt like letting go. But I choose to keep my faith and believe that there is a higher purpose of which mankind may not comprehend, but still, there is.

Education is Very Important.
Learn Something New Always. This is one thing I hope my future children will also live by. I may not be considered a really smart or talented person, but I always try my best to learn something new and enhance the talents and knowledge I have.

Quality Over Quantity.
Be it food, fashion, friends. I may have a small set of friends, but I know I can rely on them anytime. For items, to have high quality might cost more, but for me it’s better. Example, I may own few clothes and accessories, but I know these are investment pieces and will last for a long time.

Never Buy Pirated, Imitation, Fake Items
Yes, this is a no-no for me. Not for pride’s sake, but hey, if I were an artist or a designer for that matter, of course I would like to earn the fruits of my labor.


Like I said earlier, I'm only human and may commit mistakes, but at least I know my personal beliefs and tenets in life, and as much as I can, try to live by these.

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