Summer Rant: Is Being a SAHM Not A Wise Decision?

Here I am in Subic with my family (and other colleagues of my husband) wanting to take a break and enjoying this "free" vacation, but instead my mind is full of things. One major thing on my mind right now is how people react to our decision for me to be a stay-at-home mom. Yes, I must admit that the financial pressure is there (you know, be more tight when it comes to budget and not being able to gratify impulse and major purchases) but so far we're ok with it. Why not go back to work, if that's the case? If I like something, people will say "why not go back to work na kasi eh" and stuff like" you should go to work because you shouldn't be dependent on your husband" and of course together with this is this: "when you work at least you can do whatever you want, buy whatever you want, and there's no need for you to get money from your husband." Eh why did I get married pa noh? It's as if they still couldn't accept nor understand that things are now different. *Sigh of sadness*

Here is (or rather are) my say:

• Lifestyle change is not difficult for me to do. Besides, we can still afford little luxuries in life, and we get to learn to be happier and more content with what we have right now, not with what we wanted to have.
• It is very important to me that I be there to personally take care of my daughter. No amount of money will ever replace the time I get to spend with my girl. Sure, there may be times when I am not fully hands-on but at least I still get to say that I am present and I am with her. I see her grow up. I know her "fully."
• Yes, I can go back to work, but only IF I NEED TO. Again right now, the husband can provide us with necessities in life. Sometimes even a little bit more. Again, this goes back to lifestyle change. 
• I get to learn to detach myself from material things. Imagine life without you being dictated by material stuff, that you are free from it all. Life becomes a lot simpler, right?
• It is no longer I that I only think of. I am no longer the single woman who only thinks of myself. Plus, the situation is quite different in our family. My husband is only here maybe around 4 months in year. Then those four months I won't be around because I'm working? Isn't it a little unfair to my husband, who works so hard away from us?
• Oh yeah, the husband has no issues with me "asking" for some moolah for personal consumption. He always says "better to spend on you and our daughter than spend on him." Of course, i shouldn't abuse his generosity. But I guess we know ourselves, that we don't live beyond our means. 

I could go on and on about this but I'll stop here.

I just wish that instead of making me feel like I made a seriously wrong turn in my life, they should just support me, keep positive, and well, just pray for me and our family.

Yes, the money issue is there (isn't it in other families?) and the constant fear of "what ifs" but I just don't want to be bogged down by these. I have faith that everything will turn out ok, just a little sacrifice is needed for now. Our family looks forward to better days and that's probably what should matter. Maybe this may not be a really bright stance (yeah, being the analyst that I am and sometimes  telling myself we should be prepared always), but right now, what is important to us is the present.

A fully independent, successful career woman is not the only path where a woman can say she has accomplished a lot. I have reached that already to some degree. But a woman can feel fulfillment, content, and pure happiness by choosing this other route - caring for the family - especially if she is given that opportunity to do so. Juggle both? I know I can do that too, but like what I said, being a home-maker, housewife, stay-at-home mom, or whatever you call it, is what I chose. Please, please, deal with it, eh?