FIGHT MODE!

The past few days have been a roller coaster ride for me, and I realize that I have to do something about this. The ever-carefree Vanessa cannot possibly be so glum for 10 days in a row. So I wake up today and don this "Fight mode." No Enriques, no family issues, no ex-factors, no crying at night. Just pure unadulterated Vanessa. I know, I know. I sound a little self-centered and it seems as if the bratty side is in full-speed, but hey, I’ve been trampled on by people and situations and I can’t let them bruise my soul.

And so I have thought of some "resolutions" that will fuel my desire to "become myself" again.

Fight mode at work: Since I have been assigned by the President of our company to revise the corporate manual, my mantra now is "Think like El Presidente." I've been doing this for a couple of weeks now, but I feel like I haven't done much yet. And it is hard thinking like one! Lots of things to consider, nothing should be left out. Each policy I make or revise will affect the organization's management system. Tricky, tricky, tricky. But it's a challenge. I told that to the Prez himself, and he said, "that's why I chose you." Now that's a compliment that should keep me going!

Fashion Fight mode: This is trickier... So many "wants" to buy, so little cash to spend. Maybe I should give my closet a major overhaul and really throw or give away excess clothes. Emerald tops that turned into lichen-color should be booted out. Tattered heels should either be fixed or given away as well. Now for the spending part... Splurge I guess? Rarely do I shop big-time, so I should give myself a break. Hello Tyler!

Food Fight mode: So what if I love food? I will not deny myself the pleasures of eating. Of course, I will not step into the glutton-line. I used to think "save, save, save." But if I always that and feel sad about me not buying tuna sashimi, that is no good. Like what Wolfgang puck always says, "Live, Love, Eat!"

Fight mode for the soul: I haven't been paying that much attention to my prayers, and maybe this time I should commune with God again. I think I have skipped mass for 2 1/2 times already, and having a big conscience, I really feel guilty. I'll probably go to Church later and thank God for all the wonderful things He has blessed me with, and for keeping me alive. I don't want to go to that same situation when I was in despair. He didn't forsake me during that time. I do not know what plans He has in store for me, but I know that I will embrace these plans fully. Thy Will Be Done.


My Fight Mode is not about being aggressive. Rather, it is more like being more independent, as opposed to feeling that my happiness depends on Prince Charming. It is about building confidence, as opposed to thinking that I'm a big fat family-member failure. And certainly it is about enriching my soul, as opposed to falling into despair and indifference, or forming a habit of bi-atching around. Uhm, Ok. Maybe some snooty things are forgivable.