Losing a Husband

Friend J has sent me this "article" of a wife who lost her husband due to a heart attack, after just being married for 8 months. I felt sad reading her story, and took note of the lessons she has learned from her experience. I just hope that she will recover and move on, but of course remembering still her husband.

This struck me because I myself lost my father when I was only 4 years old. My Dad died a day after a freak accident, on my parents' anniversary day. What could be more painful than that? And to think that he was only about to turn 23. My Mom was 24 that time, and my sister, 2 years old.

I can still remember vividly the sight of my Mom when I returned from my Aunt's house after learning about the incident. She was wailing, my other aunts and cousins comofrting her, while she was sitting on this big lazyboy chair. If I remember right, it was dark maroon in color. Her feet were soaked in hot water just to relieve her a bit. Then when we went to the hospital, I can still remember my father on the bed, with a lot of apparatus beside him. The breathing apparatus, I just watched as it moved up and down. Then during the wake. I can still remember it. The funeral, yes. I was fully aware that time.

I don't know, from then on, I just kept on thinking about death, how I'd die or if one of my immediate family member dies. Then when I had my own family, the thought of death flashes in my mind once in a while, of which last night was the last time. While driving, I had those thoughts, what if... hubby? Me? or Worse, Eanna? But last night was more on what if the husband? I was crying while driving. Am I a psycho or too depressed to think of those things?

Anyway, this is just some rambling and all. But I really do hope for the future, a bright and happy one. After all, my Mom has moved on and continues to live her life. I hope the wife who lost her husband would move on and be happy too. Someday, I guess.