I'm Back!

Nope, I'm not back because I am *single* again, but because I just want to take a break from all this Enrique-Vanessa and wedding preps thingies.

*Sigh* I don't know. While watching Lifestyle Network, it occurred to me that lately, I haven't been *taking care* of and pampering myself as often as I needed (note: not wanted). All I have been thinking about is the whole wedding shebang: gowns, music suppliers, photo/video, and most of all... budgeting. I think another white hair grew because of all these thinking and numbers manipulation and computation!

Gersh... I miss the days when I go have a massage, buy some kikay stuff, hoard shoes that fit me, shop at Zara in KL, etc... without feeling guilty. Whereas now, whenever I see something that fancies me, I have to remind myself "Hey, you gotta save for the wedding, help Enrique!" Imagine, I just bought these Moroccan earrings and bracelet, and I felt GUILTY. Too guilty, that I was compelled to tell Enrique earlier this afternoon about this most recent splurge of mine.

What the?!?

I'm probably fretting because much as I miss Enrique so much and that I am excited about the future ahead of us, I also miss my *single* days. I also think that ever since there became an Enrique-Vanessa, my appetite for the single life went drastically downhill. I can no longer tolerate alcohol (ppphhh I miss drinking booze!!!). I no longer feel excited about gimmicks that end the morning after. This is soooo not me.

Or am I really changing? Changing in order to accommodate the new life that I will enter a couple of months from now?

Nope, I am not complaining. It's just that... oh, I don't know.

Maybe I should keep this blog, and write about other things other than documenting our wedding preparations.


Welcome back, Vanessa!