Nov 17, 2004

The Promise Of Love

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I've been listening to this song of Martin Nievera for years, yet it is just now that I have come to appreciate the lyrics of the song....



The Promise of Love

I kneel beside you here today
I kneel beside you and I pray
That it's you, its only you
Who will share my tomorrows and yesterdays
I searched a lifetime and found you
A bridge to forever I share with you
Open your heart and let me in
As I give you this promise of love
I heard an angel say your name
Now I know my world's not the same
A little heaven is what you are
As we dream a thousand dreams not so far
And may the blessings of our Lord above
His light will guide us with a love
For you and me forevermore
As I give you this promise of love
Now that I have you for my own
As God is our witness never let me go
Feel the love grow as we become one
One hand, one heart
We are one soul
I stand before you just a man
I need your help to understand
What is life without you
As I promise you this day and forever
This promise of love
This promise of love
This promise of love....

Nov 12, 2004

Dazed and Confused

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I miss Enrique.

I don't know why my feelings are so strong for this guy, I don't know why I am missing him this much. And I am not sure if I have the right reasons to do so.

It is a fact that we didn't really get to know each other before he left (and this is a huge understatement) and that we only got to "know" each other through millions of text and hours of phonecalls (yes, those phone bills that left a hundred grand hole in his pocket). Yet for me, it doesn't seem to matter anymore.

However, I am just questioning my feelings, because up until now, I am still a bit confused.

I just got out of a traumatic relationship early this year, and its ending left me hanging. My one year of longing to be with the one I love(d) yielded nothing. Then came Enrique, a few months after. I tried to resist the urge to entertain another potential, to no avail. How could I have resisted the sweet, thoughtful, and bolero Enrique?

I just couldn't help but wonder: am I really in love, or is this feeling an outcome of my frustration from my past relationship?

I would like to believe that I really am in love. The second one is a bit too unfair for Enrique, and I know he doesn't deserve such.

Maybe I'm just complicating things.

Maybe it's just this: I just miss Enrique.

Nov 9, 2004

Of Novels and Pictures

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I just received a 14-page letter (more like a novel, really!) from my beloved Enrique, along with 3 of his pictures onboard. And I missed him all the more.

I just think that January is around the corner. I can't wait to see him. In the meantime, I will just read again his message and stare at his pictures.... Sigh....


Enrique my dear...

Oct 28, 2004

Dream to Sleep

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I was just browsing through all my personal files when I came across a very old poem that I have made. Entitled "Dream To Sleep," I can hardly remember what made me write this poem. Probably this was the time when my Spinsterhood days were the times when I was still being idealistic and looking for Mr. Right was highly romanticized by me.

DREAM TO SLEEP

And my vision blurs, head spiralling up
Into a great abode of fantasy
Where reality is but a dim light of a firefly...

I hear the sound of waves ashore
Whispering with serenity
The sun half-cut by the horizon
As I looked up at the salmon-blue sky.

And as I walk on the silvery sand
Clad with the finest jewels of old
My breath held out a gladly sigh
I saw my prince waiting for me.

With arms wide open for an embrace
I ran with impatience, with haste
And he, noticing my arrival
Stood up, and lifted me as my body touched his.

The joy of oneness surpassed all joys
As he gazed into my eyes
With a longing far intense than fiery coal
Burning my soul with passionate rapture.

As his lips touched my face
He warmly whispered words of love
He closed his eyes to kiss my lips
As gently as a feather's brush.

We walked together along the shore
Locked in an embrace we watched the sun set
For night will come, I am no longer alone
And there once again, love will reign.

VHS/05212002

Oct 22, 2004

The "ME" Phenomenon

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One afternoon while having a conference chat with my friends, we somehow got into a discussion on the Filipino "Me" phenomenon. This is a purely-text message (and, gasp, instant messaging!) phenom, which involves using the pronoun "me" in exchange of the grammatically correct "ako." I can understand that sometimes we speak Taglish. I can understand the deletion of letters or using numbers 2 and 8 in instead of a letter or letters or words to either shorten the agony of pressing in a lot of keys or to have longer messages. But to use "me" instead of "ako" is just plain eeeeeck!

"Kain na me." "Dito pa me sa mall." "Stay muna me at home." "Tawagan mo me here sa office." And so on...

Not to mention its equally twisted twin "U" thing.

"Kain na u." "Sundo na u at 8." "Work pa u."

What the???

I don't know if some person who was desperately trying to sound either cute or sossy invented it, but whoever did it, I think has some issues. I first encountered this kind of "me" thing a one or two years ago, and I was totally baffled by it. I thought she was trying to sound cute and all. But then more people started sending me messages that use the "me" thing. I first thought that it was a girl thing. But NO. Even some guy friends of mine did!

Forgive me if I am quite a snoot when it comes to grammar and all, but hey, these are the reasons why the results of surveys and studies show that the youth's grammatical skills, both in English and in Filipino, are deteriorating. Not that my grammar is perfect, but as much as possible I try to correct myself and refrain from speaking in Taglish.

Oh well, people have different tastes in expressing themselves. I just hope it will not come to a point where people will use the letter "h" too so it would be "mhe" instead of "me." Ugh.

Oct 9, 2004

No Title, Just Read on...

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I am now thousands of feet above the ground as I plane my way back to Manila, and I am in a somewhat mellow mood. I have been longing to go home for quite some time now, yet as I near my home country, I couldn't help but be sad because much as I don't want to admit it, I have become accustomed to the surroundings of Malaysia. Sure, I went to the doctor because my stomach could no longer take in Asian food available due to the spices, but I am beginning to miss my daily walk going to the office, the courteous personnel of Crown Princess Hotel, my after-office malling, "my" beloved room in the hotel, and of course, the people in the office.

It was a very special week for me last week, for a lot of firsts had happened. Last Thursday was my first presentation to the board of directors. It sure was scary, but I pulled it off quite well, thanks to the great support of our company's President. After my presentation, he told me that everyone in the board said that I did I great job.

After the board meeting was the annual staff party of Barber personnel in KL. I was in glam mode, with my sheer copper-brown dress, smoky eyes, and self-made hairdo. It was the first time I went to this staff party and I was really excited to be part of it. The program for entertainment was very well-prepared. They had a contest entitled "Barber Idol" and the winner was a guy who sang "Delilah." With his good voice and connection with the crowd, he really deserved to win!

A night before, I was invited to have dinner with the board of directors, and I was surprised that I was seated next to our whole group's CEO. I was a bit nervous, but he turned out to be a friendly person and wonderful to talk to. This actually helped me ease a bit during my presentation.

Three weeks of staying in KL was quite a bit lonely, because aside from the days when the Filipino Officers of our vessel were in KL too for their vessel software training, there was no Filipino there that I knew. But those three weeks gave me time for myself to be alone and to do whatever I want. Now I am sure that I will have to adapt again to my old atmosphere - office, house, and surroundings.

Sep 27, 2004

BLACKOUT!

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I am now back here in KL, after one week in Manila. This time around, I am staying here for 3 weeks. The last week, I attended various conferences and meetings, and this week is more on getting accustomed to my new job as the market analyst of the company. Next week I will be back with our special project (the one that requires me to go here in KL every other week!) which will probably be finalized by the end of this year.

I had fun last week: meeting people that I met some 2 years back when I attended the first conference of the company; serious but at the same time entertaining activities; good food (Imagine seafood fest for me on the first night! Lobsters, crabs, prawns... get the picture?); and a trip to the KL Tower and Chinatown, to name a few highlights.

But the one thing that I will never forget, and probably is an experience of a lifetime, is the blackout that happened on my first night here last week!

I know some people have different phobias, but mine is a special one...

I was fast asleep already, when suddenly there was a blackout. I immediately sensed this and woke up confused and scared. The room was very dark, I was alone in my hotel room, there was no Filipino colleague, and I was in a foreign land. This was my phobia coming to life! It took me so many years to get used to sleeping alone in my room, then this happened!

I couldn't move at all, I was sweating, and tears were beginning to form in the corners of my eyes. My heart was pounding so loud and I had difficulty breathing, I really thought that was the end of me. I gathered all my strength to call the operator and asked what happened. She said that there was an electrical problem within the hotel, and she wasn't sure when it will be resolved. I was soooo mad.

I immediately tried to call my Enrique, and the connection just kept getting cut. Finally he got to call, and I told him what happened. I begged him to keep me company and talk to me until the power failure gets resolved. And he did. When he finished up all his phone cards, I called him. When my phone alerted that my battery was low, there was still no electricity, I just called him using the hotel phone.

Finally there were lights again, and I was so relieved. We still talked for about an hour after that, but since I already had a sense of security, I felt sleepy and eventually bid each other goodbye.

That was one big experience for me, and I truly thank my lovable Teletubby (I call him that, though he doesn't really have a teletubby figure!) for staying with me even if he was so tired and sleepy. Well, that’s probably what love is all about!

Sep 9, 2004

Full Speed Ahead!

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After only a week's stay in the Philippines, I am back here again in Kuala Lumpur for a whole-week meeting with our company president regarding our management system project - specifically the Corporate Manual section. I joke around that maybe Crown Princess Hotel should a have a dedicated room for me since I go here almost every other week since July/August.

But anyway, I have done so much progress so far with regard to the corporate manual, and I have just finished drafting some new policies that will take into effect as soon as the whole integrated system is worked out - a must by end-2004.

While having lunch with the Prez the other day, he asked me a question that surely excited me, yet at the same time made me nervous: "Can you present what we have done so far to the Board of Directors?" He assured me that he will be there to help me out. Time slowed down for me. To present to Mr. Wilhelmsen himself, to the CEO, and to the Senior Management Team? Why me?!? But then again, I composed myself and said, "Yes I can." And added... "But I may feel nervous." So that's a done deal, and I will be back here by the first week of October, a week after the Marketing and Manning Conference a little over a week from now, of which I might attend... See? I'm here every other week!

I couldn't stop thinking about what he said, and I thought that he half-meant it, until the Office Manager told me that I will attend the Annual Dinner that same day.

Of course, I feel good that our company's President has confidence in me and in my capabilities, and up until now I am still speechless with regard to that matter. I haven't told this tidbit to anyone else save for my Enrique, and he's so proud of me. I hope this will lead to good things for me here in this company.